


Our Mother

by HatsForBreakfast



Series: Midgardian Holidays [5]
Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Basically Loki drinks and Thor stops them both, Canonical Character Death, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mothers' Day, Mothers' Day Fic, They talk feelings and have a moment, Thor/Loki - Freeform, alcohol use, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1601555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HatsForBreakfast/pseuds/HatsForBreakfast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Thor think about the parts they played in orchestrating Frigga’s death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Mother

When Thor woke up, Loki was sitting on the window ledge and staring outside. Loki had a mug of coffee in his hands and heard Thor get up. He didn’t say good morning but was aware of when Thor approached him. He tucked his mug closer to his chest, still staring outside. 

Thor laid a warm hand over his shoulder. “Morning, Loki.” 

Loki made a soft noise of acknowledgement. 

Thor leaned closer, moving to give Loki a kiss on the cheek in hopes that it would get more of a response. Loki looked over when Thor hovered closely near his head, not moving. 

“Is that coffee?” Thor asked. 

“Yes.” 

“Is that all that’s in there?” 

“Yes.” 

Thor took the mug from Loki’s hands. Loki let it go, his hands falling limp, and turned back to the window. He heard Thor’s sip from the coffee and took a deep breath in, his jaw set. 

“There’s alcohol in this.” 

He stayed quiet and waited for the rest. 

“Loki,” the tone in Thor’s voice made his stomach roll. “Why are you drinking alcohol so early in the morning?” 

Loki’s fist tightened before he raised a hand to take back the mug. He continued to watch the outside world go by. 

Thor followed his brother’s gaze and saw Loki fixated on a mother and her son in the park near their apartment. He had apparently bruised his knee and she was tenderly kissing him and distracting him from the pain as she dressed it. 

Everything shifted into place then and Thor was aware that he had been caught off guard this year. They had never celebrated Mothers’ Day before. Thor nudged Loki’s crossed legs aside and settled in the space that he left. 

“I was too late.” 

Loki looked over at Thor. His brother was staring well beyond the boy and his mother, his eyes gaining a distance as his eyebrows crinkled together. For all the things they’d talked about since making their relationship official, of Loki’s heritage and hatred, of Thor being part of the Avengers, of leaving Asgard forever, they’d never talked much of Frigga and what she meant to them and what her death had done. 

He offered his mug in Thor direction. Thor stood and looked around before moving to get the bottle of ale that Loki had spiked his coffee with. He took a swallow and then added a few more splashes to Loki’s coffee. Loki remained quiet and watched Thor. 

“By seconds,” Thor said, voice growing soft. 

Loki hadn’t seen Thor open up about the moment Frigga died. They had barely talked about her funeral, only small snatches of an awkward conversation, but they didn’t discuss her death. Loki was responsible for her murder but the weight of the lines on Thor’s face said otherwise. 

“She was sleeping.” Thor looked at Loki and Loki’s body jerked forward at the glistening tears in Thor’s eyes. 

“Like when we were boys,” Thor said. “Just… laying there, like she was exhausted from chasing us around. And so small. We grew up, but she was never as small as she was then—” 

Thor’s hands wrapped around Loki’s hands still gripping the mug. 

Loki avoided Thor’s gaze. The words came out without his express permission. “You wouldn’t have been too late if I hadn’t directed him where to go.” 

Thor’s hands pressed in on Loki tighter, with a force that edged on shattering the mug in his grasp. He looked at Thor, accidentally from the pressure, and Thor’s face had crumpled in on itself, drawn in by the revelation with his mouth parted and his eyes closed. 

“Loki, you…” 

They stayed in silence after Thor’s quiet words. Loki looked back out the window, but his attention was entirely on Thor. He waited for Thor to process what he’d said and tried to petal-press the memory of being loved by Thor in his mind before it disintegrated. 

The hint was subtle. Thor let go of Loki’s hands, which were now pale and cold, and moved to sit at the counter. He took the bottle of ale and cradled it in resting hands. He stared straight through it before tilting his head to see Loki curled up in the alcove of the window. He looked small, all of his mass disappearing like Frigga’s. All that presence gone without the fire to fill it. 

“Loki.” 

He was quick to respond. His eyes met Thor’s at the sound of his name and lowered just as fast. 

“She was our mother, Thor. I took her away from us.” 

Thor stood up and pushed the ale away. The bottle grated dully against the countertop and Loki’s gaze jerked back up to Thor in time for Thor’s chest to fill his vision. Thor had grabbed his head in a hug, fingers twining in his hair, holding tightly to Loki and pressing the unshed tears into his shirt. Loki buried his head in Thor’s chest until he felt wet drops hit and slide down his face. He pried himself away from Thor to see his brother’s eyes damp. 

“Thor…” 

Thor dropped to his knees, level with Loki’s eyes and pulled him close with a hand around the back of his neck. 

“If I thought you were at all responsible, I would not have you now,” Thor said. 

“You were not at fault, Thor.” 

“Neither were you, brother. Do you see? We’ve taken a share of this weight, the both of us and we haven’t let ourselves grieve.” 

Loki’s choked words were muffled by Thor’s shoulder. Thor laid a hand over Loki’s back and pressed him in closer. 

“Her funeral?” Loki managed. 

Thor took a moment before responding. “Beautiful, as was she. It was everything a queen’s funeral was supposed to be. She loved you, Loki. Even when I questioned her judgment in doing so,” Thor gave a soft chuckle, tangling his fingers back in his brother’s hair. 

“I can’t imagine that you ever would.” 

“Will you be all right, Loki?” 

Loki sank down next to Thor and sat against the wall. He cut a glance at Thor and a curl lifted the corner of his lips. 

“Will you?” 

“You missed out on her last days, Loki. But do not forget what you did have. You may not have been at her funeral but you had her teachings and her time. Mother saw you fit for learning her magic and that’s something you get to keep.” 

Loki’s chin tipped up fractionally. “And you, Thor. What do you get?” 

“I get her most precious worriment.” 

Thor leaned in to kiss Loki, to which he happily accepted. Loki exhaled through his mouth when Thor moved away, his hand still caught in Loki’s hair. 

“We get to make her proud.” 

Thor’s grin was crooked. “I am not sure mother would give us her blessing—” 

“Hush, Thor. She was always smiling when we weren’t fighting. I don’t think she would be extraordinarily concerned about our particular …arrangement.” 

“Then make her proud, we will.” 

“For a while, I thought she loved you best. Her eyes lit up when she watched you. They probably lit up for me too, maybe, when I was too busy to see. She loved us both, Thor. What she loved best was when we were together.” 

“It is the first time we’ve honoured Mothers’ Day.” 

“It’s a start,” Loki said. He looked back at the mother and her son walking in the grass. “It’s definitely a start.”


End file.
